This week hasn't been all that bad. I'm pretty ecstatic over the fact that we all got out on Friday evening. Caught the spectacular opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics, and then headed out to the airport to send the infantry guys off to Lancer. I took a very expensive cab ride home and woke up at 11am this morning, did nothing until the evening, and then headed down to the Borders sale where I bought 9 books for a underwhelming $44 - not bad considering I spent $51 on one book last week. Got back in the middle of the NDP, which was a little underwhelming considered what we watched last night, but still nice.
I haven't been out a lot in the past few months, but this place makes me feel proud. I liked the article they put on the second page of Straits Time this morning even though I cringed (and smiled) a little while reading it. It was so typically Singaporean in its almost-but-not-quite-there defiance, whine, indignance and patriotism. Happy 43rd Singapore. Go us (:
This week I will:
1. Offend people
2. Get offended by people.
3. Make mistakes.
4. Forget something.
5. Swear a little.
6. Have good intentions anyway.
But I wake up anyway and tell myself that the week ahead is going to be okay. I'm hopelessly optimistic because it's the least I can do. It's not so bad. I guess.
I take in short, sharp breaths, try to untangle that knot in my stomache. Grit my teeth and ignore all the thoughts that tell me that things are not okay. I'm still a little unstable on my feet, but at least I'm on my feet. I'm getting through this, regardless.
Fight the good fight. Finish the race. Keep the faith.
Smile in spite. Laugh in spite. Sing in spite. Look them in the eye and tell them you're okay. Keep your chin up and tell yourself you're bigger than all of this.
2607 was a wonderful reprieve from all that's been getting over my head in the past two weeks. It was nice to see the old familiar faces, hear the laughter, and just soak up the atmosphere.
Here's my playlist for y'all 26ths. You guys are the most fantastic bunch of people to be with. Thanks.
1. Ageing Superhero - Newton Faulkner
2. Best Days - Graham Colton
3. Stop This Train - John Mayer
4. Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics
5. Feeling a Moment - Feeder
6. Coffee - Copeland
7. Song for a Friend - Jason Mraz
8. Time Enough for Tears - The Corrs
9. I Love - Athlete
My honest answer to that is not really. But I'm sucking it up, gritting my teeth and going on in spite. I'm down here getting grease on my fingers, running insane amounts weekly, and getting abrasions on my neck, but more importantly, knowing that there are 19 other people on course with me, going through the same shit, and knowing exactly how I feel at the end of every week.
Turn down the brightness, turn up the contrast, zoom out a little and let things get a little out of focus. Regulate your breath, keep in step, shout loudly, move quickly. This is my life and I'm alright.
Three strikes, and I'm out. Of time, that is.
1. Armour.
2. Tankee.
3. Armskote OIC. (Oh. Goodness.)
But seriously, the next six months are going to be mad. Another three strikes.
1. Saturday evening bookouts.
2. Confinements and extras.
3. IPPT Gold now stands at <9:15
The redeeming virtues of the course?
1. Pretty good food.
2. Immensely spacious (not an euphemism for empty) bunks.
3. Decent coursemates.
The time is 0638 and the sun feels as if it’s been up for hours already. This early Wednesday morning is doused with the heady smell of diesel exhaust and the roar of this fastcraft's motor. Watching the jungle in which I spent four days in recede in the distant and quickly fading morning mist, it's not much of a surprise I'm a little wistful.
My thoughts naturally wander to the next six months and how I’m going to survive through all that's going to come at and against me. And then I remember these parting words as we left Echo Wing some three months ago: remember that when you're going through shit, just glance left and right, and look at your buddy and know that he's going through the same shit as you. Smile at him and know that you're both gonna get through this.
